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12 – Pig Boy’s Big Adventure



Savage Simian Storms Science Sanctuary

By Tucker Burns

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NEW YORK — The Chronicle’s favorite great ape — the Savage Simian — resurfaced in the New York area last week. And this time, it was personal.

Known to her friends as Monica, this bonobo beauty revealed to the Chronicle the truth behind how she was created. Although born fully human, she began exhibiting simian characteristics after Dr. Harcourt Fenton, a disgraced surgeon, gave her monkey organs in a transplant operation when she was a child.

After a series of sightings over the past few months, Monica found her way to Fred Gerardo’s Long Island home last Tuesday. “It was hiding under my daughter’s bed,” Frank said. “She thought it was a boogeyman, but it ended up being a monkey girl. Either way, I’m moving.”

Immediately after the sighting, the Chronicle set out for an exclusive interview. However, also hot on Monica’s tail was Fenton’s son, twisted veterinarian Dr. Merrill Elias.

The Chronicle finally captured Monica seconds before Elias could shoot her with a tranquilizer dart. After bringing her back to our offices, she made an amazing pronouncement about Sal, the chief Chronicle researcher and our resident manimal.

“She told me that I was also one of Fenton’s experiments,” Sal said. “I always assumed I was the result of a human-porcine union, so the news was pretty hard to handle. Also, I always considered myself half-man, half-pig. It ends up that the ratio is more like 60-40. Go figure.”

Later, Sal and Monica ventured onto the streets of New York, where they were caught by Elias and brought to his veterinary clinic. There, Elias hauled them into his mad scientist’s lair and threw them in cages with other victims of Fenton’s experiments.

“He was like a mad scientist with all sorts of manimals in cages,” Sal recounted. “There was a crocodile-man, a cat-woman… it was like Noah’s arc, if Noah had had children with all the different animals.”

Also in the lab was Fenton. Decades after his animal-transplant experiments, he now was hoping to perform tests on the manimals to try to perfect his technique. Luckily, the Chronicle had snuck into the lab and was able to free the would-be lab rats before any harm could be done. Once the cages were opened, a pack of the manimals attacked and killed Elias and Fenton, ending their experiments once and for all.

Afterwards, the manimals dispersed, eager to carry on their lives in the human world. However, as Sal could tell you, life for these special creatures will never be easy.

“All we want is to be accepted,” said Sal. “So if you see one of us, don’t laugh, don’t scream, and for God’s sake don’t pet us. A friendly smile and a simple ‘hello’ is all we need.”


“Pig Boy’s Big Adventure”

Written by Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Directed by Michael Grossman