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I Was a Teenage Fog Monster
By Tucker Burns and Grace Hall
KOYANISQUASSET, N.Y. — Long Island has never had the greatest reputation. And that was before the killer fog rolled in.
The fog struck Scout Master Bill Able last week as he led his Adventure Scout troop on a camping trip in a swamp outside of Koyanisquasset. Able, who was sitting by the campfire at the time, was lifted into the fog and carted away, never to be seen again.
“He was trying to tell us a ghost story when this fog came at him,” said scout Wally Limberger. “That’s what he gets for bringing us into the swamp for a campout. The rest of us wanted to go to Six Flags.”
In fact, Able’s choice of campground could not have been worse. Situated near the abandoned Dewitt Chemical Company plant, the area had become heavily contaminated by the time the plant was shut down in the late 1980s. Since then, the residents of Koyanisquasset have been plagued by unsafe drinking water and environmental devistation.
However, even those who avoided the water weren’t secure. In the last few months, three other residents, teacher Kathy Kelly, policeman Rod Howe, and librarian Denise Hermanson, also have gone missing without a trace. Within days of Able’s disappearance, the fog struck again. This time the victim was grief counselor Jeremy Volovich.
“We were in the swamp and the fog rolled in,” said Carl, Jeremy’s life partner. “It was swirling and glowing, then it just lifted him up and he disappeared.”
Not even the Chronicle was able to avoid the killer cloud. While in the swamp to gather a sample, the fog chased us to our car.
“The thing was nasty. It ate my paint job,” said Chronicle photographer Wes Freewald. “And this wasn’t one of those ‘slap on some Turtle Wax and it’ll look like new’ deals. This was serious damage.”
Fortunately, our sample of the fog survived, and we were able to transport it back to our office. There, Esperanza, this publication’s new psychic, noticed that the fog was giving off an aura.
“I saw loneliness. I saw embarrassment. I saw rage barely held in check,” Esperanza said. “I was surprised. Weather usually isn’t so emotional.”
In fact, the miffed mist’s emotions were coming from Victor Clark, a local boy who spent time in the abandoned Dewitt plant.
“The fog consisted of a sentient, flesh-eating bacteria,” explained Sal, chief researcher of The Chronicle. “Victor must have been there when the fog was first created, and he psionically imprinted on it. Essentially, because Victor was the first thing it saw, the fog had a special, emotional connection with him.”
After meeting with Victor’s father, it became clear that Victor’s emotions were boiling over. Dealing with the recent death of his mother, Victor was full of pent-up anger. Not releasing his feelings, they were instead transferred to the fog, which acted out on Victor’s impulses, including attacking people Victor was upset with.
Fortunately, The Chronicle was able to find Victor and prod him into releasing his emotions before the fog could roll into town, killing thousands. Soon after achieving his much-needed catharsis, the fog receded, and Victor, for the first time in a long while, was able to tell people exactly how he felt.
“I’m really sorry for what happened, and I’m glad that it’s over,” Victor said. “Now I know not to keep everything bottled in. I also know not to play in abandoned, contaminated chemical factories. Even without that fog, that’s just not a good idea.”
“The Mists of Avalon Parkway”
Written by Henry Alonso Myers
Directed by David Straiton